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| We come. |
But strangely, many of you know little about our kind. So let this blog be the testing ground for a new relationship between Spudkind and Farmers. In the hopeful spirit of such a union, here is an as-of-yet unpublished interview to give invaluable insight into the life of a common tuber.
Q: Where were you sprouted?
A: I am a potato of humble origin. I was not sprouted into wealth and hothouses, nor even the private gardens that breed such elitism among our kinds. My seedsires, my greatseedsires, and myself are all spudlings of the Everyfield.
Q: What kind of potato are you?
A: My family's one claim to distinction is that we are "Golden Wonders". Unfortunately, our high desirableness as well as weak constitutions have resulted in a gradual lessening of our harvest unit. We all pray that the Day of Scalloping will come to give us Soil Eternal.
Q: How do you spend your typical day?
A: Since my plucking, I have labored as a common potato of the Crop. I roll, I sprout, and I dream. Others mold, but not me. I've found that an active mind is the best defense. Against everything. Also: regular sessions in a good refrigerator.
Q: What's on your perfect sundae?
A: Ketchup. Others in my harvest unit might find it perverse, but I consider myself a bit edgy.
Q: What's your greatest aspiration?
A: To prove my worth to the Crop and to be welcomed at my boilingday into the Land of No Peeling.
Q: What do you wish every Farmer knew about your race?
A: That we are not that different from you. Also, that if you ate only potatoes plus a little bit of butter or milk, you would live a healthy existence.
Q: Really?
A: Yes.
Now you have been introduced to the proud and happy race of Spudkind. Consider yourselves blessed. And be blessed, you forerunners of this new relationship between our Crops.
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